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The hurt ego of a dyslexic


Warning: this post most likely will have more than one spelling and grammar mistake



The last 3 years living in US has brought many challenges and changes to my life (or is live?). I lived around 25 years with bad spelling without care. Family members, class mates, coworkers and acquaintances did make fun of me time to time, and the middle school spelling contests are still part of my nightmares. However, my bad spelling never stooped my academic and professional achievements nor affected my daily life, until 2009.

I moved to USA in 2009, before that I never felt the need to tell every single person that my spelling was poor even though my spoken English is pretty good. I didn't have to tell anyone that I am dyslexic, in fact some of my friends maybe don't even know that,  or that growing up I spent almost two afternoons per week on therapy for my dyslectic dysgraphia.  

When I was a kid in therapy I used to play many, many memory games. The therapist (who used to live close to my grandpa house) used to read a word to me many times and asked me to write it and draw the first thing that come to my head. Many Spanish words in my mind are related to images and sounds that helped me to learn how to spell them. For example "a través"  (across) is the image of a bee and a window. I remember I used to write it: atravez, atravez, atravez.... many, many times until she mentioned that "the bee can not cross the window caring all those words on her back", and tough me the correct form. I learned it and every time I hear or see a través the bee and the window come to my mind. 

I was never a shame of my learning disability, it is not a intellectual impediment and, in part, it makes me the person I'm. In Spanish Microsoft word  and a joke usually covered my embarrassment for writing IVA (Colombian Tax)  instead of IBA (to go). Those days are in the past.  In English the sounds are not always relative with the spelling so the auto corrector on English of Microsoft Word it's not always the solution. If lots of words in this language are in blank  in my mind how can compered with what the auto corrector is showing me? I don't have anything for them in my data base.

As a professional woman I find myself  constantly frustrated for my misspelling and getting nervous when having to a hand write a job application. Let's  be honest it is less likely to get a good job if you don't know how to even spell your profession! 

I forgot about my dyslexic for many years, and never thought it would emotionally affect me, my ego or my career, but, when you are 30 years old and are trying to get into a career pat in an English speaking world, it hurts when someone makes fun of you for confuse break ( be temporarily dismissed from its duties) with Brake ( mechanical devise which inhibits motion) or spells sale for sell. It is embarrassing to feel challenge with "elementary school" words that feels like quantum chemistry problems. It hurts my ego, it hurts my brain, it hurts my career. 





Comments

  1. Sabes que se me vino a la mente?
    Una pelicula que se llama Bee Season, de hecho es en Portland, y aunque no tiene el mejor presupuesto ni la mejor musicalizacion es una buena historia.
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387059/

    Ojala te la podas ver!

    Entre a tu blog porque estoy editando el mio, que bacano!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Buuu, no! Es en Oakland, no Portland. De todas maneras querida, me termine de leer tu blog y me parecio muy interesante. Segui escribiendo mas cositas!

    ReplyDelete

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