The hurt ego of a dyslexic

Warning: this post most likely will have more than one spelling and grammar mistake

The last 3 years living in the US has brought many challenges and changes to my life (or are life?). I lived for around 25 years with bad spelling without care. Family members, classmates, coworkers, and acquaintances did make fun of me from time to time, and the middle school spelling contests are still part of my nightmares. However, my bad spelling never stooped my academic and professional achievements nor affected my daily life, until 2009.

I moved to the USA in 2009, before that I never felt the need to tell every single person that my spelling was poor even though my spoken English is pretty good. I didn't have to tell anyone that I am dyslexic, in fact, some of my friends maybe don't even know that or that growing up I spent almost two afternoons per week on therapy for my dyslectic dysgraphia.  

When I was a kid in therapy I used to play many, many memory games. The therapist (who used to live close to my grandpa's house) used to read a word to me many times and asked me to write it and draw the first thing that comes to my head. Many Spanish words in my mind are related to images and sounds that helped me to learn how to spell them. For example "a través"  (across) is the image of a bee and a window. I remember I used to write it: atravez, atravez, atravez, atravez.... many, many times until she mentioned that "the bee can not cross the window caring all those words on her back", and tough me the correct form. I learned it and every time I hear or see a través the bee and the window come to my mind. 

I was never a shame of my learning disability, it is not an intellectual impediment and, in part, it makes me the person I'm. In Spanish Microsoft word and a joke usually covered my embarrassment for writing IVA (Colombian Tax)  instead of IBA (to go). Those days are in the past.  In English, the sounds are not always relative with the spelling so the auto corrector on English of Microsoft Word it's not always the solution. If lots of words in this language are blank in my mind how can compere with what the auto corrector is showing me? I don't have anything for them in my database.

As a professional woman, I find myself constantly frustrated for my misspelling and getting nervous when having to handwrite a job application. Let's be honest it is less likely to get a good job if you don't know how to even spell your profession! 

I forgot about my dyslexia for many years, and never thought it would emotionally affect me, my ego or my career, but, when you are 30 years old and are trying to get into a career pat in an English speaking world, it hurts when someone makes fun of you for confuse break ( be temporarily dismissed from its duties) with Brake ( mechanical device which inhibits motion) or spells sale for sell. It is embarrassing to feel challenged with "elementary school" words that feel like quantum chemistry problems. It hurts my ego, it hurts my brain, it hurts my career.